When living on a boat there are many issues that just are not a concern in everyday life. Dimensions and space issues are the most obvious and maybe the most time-consuming as you are constantly trying to keep space clear. I moved on to my first boat many years ago, I was a little bit of a fraud as I was not capable of sailing her single-handed so I had to be content with just bobbing around the marina. I had had enough of sharing with crazy housemates and the whole experience with my previous flat mate turned into a disaster. A crazy loud unhinged Columbian whirlwind, that at the beginning seemed very exciting, well after soon realizing that it was far from exciting almost bordering on sheer craziness, I managed to pull myself out of the tornado and stepped away to live on a 35ft classic ketch. She was beautiful wooden and the same age as me, which I thought was something that made us closer as boat and tenant. Living on my own after that trauma was a complete pleasure and I wallowed in it, being naked and having my music playing without guilt. I have never fitted into any kind of mold or stereotype, I am a person who is always looking for constant stimulation, the mundane and the threat of a routine makes me run a mile. To take myself away from the side of myself that wanted drink and drugs I went off to explore the mountains and started snowboarding, I loved it and travelled all around the world seeing as many mountains as possible. It is then that I discovered boats these big shiny washing machines (as some of the motorboats look like) but they will pay you to work on them. Well I had never really thought about money till that point living hand to mouth from winter to summer, now I had an opportunity to make some money wow amazing, glad to finally say that the money spent on my education was not a complete waste, thanks Mum and Dad.

Well after years of trying to make my super yacht career actually happen I now believe that it is not going to as I am just too much and I just don’t care anymore about whether the boat is spotless or whether the captain has his favorite fucking food. I just am not the nervous wreck that many of the females in the industry are, never sure that there work is good enough or even done. I am not a stressing kind of person being so laid back that I could spend a large percentage of my life on a chez long. I like the idea of that. It has taken me a while of being sacked from seasonal positions that make me realise that I have a very short attention span for boring tasks and so think it is time to change my career. I still wish for the travel and have realised that out of everything I do e.g. sports and travel that travel is actually the most important part to the whole puzzle.

I must have Romany blood in me as I am never happier than when I am on the move and getting to explore new places. The more remote the better as my trip to Sarong in Indonesia showed me being surrounded by a local community that had not seen many red-headed women never mind walking around on their own, so curiosity got the better of them and I was surrounded by indigenous looking men not Indonesian but with afro hair dark black skin and wide noses, I was attracting a crowd on the jetty who were standing very close. Of course at first I felt the tightening of my muscles and my brain informing me that this was not good, I kept breathing and looked at the men and the children around me. All were smiling and just looking at my green eyes my freckled skin and my guitar of which I couldn’t play, damn shame because I think if I could have whipped it out and played a tune, I would have been a super star, on that Jetty any way. As I controlled my breathing and let my instincts read the situation, I realised that they were not going to harm me, that it was just curiosity. Confused as to why I was not getting on the Ferry, that a lot of people had nearly put my suitcase on, “no no no “ I had to keep repeating, as the helpful, guys mainly a few children who were jumping into the not so clean marina water, but not many women, tried to place me on the ferry. With my growing congregation around me and limited Indonesian, which actually is only “thank you” I tried with my best sign language to say about a sail boat coming to get me. I am sure they did not get any of it, as I even confused myself with my choice of hand signals, but they watch me with great delight as the crowed increased in size.  Their Big smiling faces seemed just happy to look at my alien features. This place was not the most beautiful feeling very industrial and with a few old boats that were being left to sink into the mud around the edges of the jetty, but the fact that no tourists go there was totally refreshing after the hustle and bustle of Bali. I like a real welcome or not as the case maybe by people who are over exposed in large tourist area’s e.g. Bali, Thailand, and so many other parts of countries I can just feel the insincerity of these people. I do not blame them of course but still it is always obvious and I would rather not see it any more. I want to go around the world to the far off places meet the ones that haven’t seen foreigners. Is there anywhere like that left??

Finally the tender arrived to pick me up and my groupies around me realized what was going on.  Two smiling crew members swung in on their jet tender which looked very white and shiny almost space age in comparison to the large stained red ferry’s tied off to the huge concrete jetty with rusty chains running along the sides like tinsel. Everything to do with this boat delivery was over the top as we headed off with the locals waving madly at us; I then see the boat ahead of me. It is GOLD!! Yes sprayed gold with black fixtures and fittings probably the most gangsta boat on the sea’s at the moment. “Oh my god “ is all I can mutter as we get closer. “So the owners are on board and want you to cook them partridge” The captain had kindly warned me earlier so i had found a recipe but still My heart begins to beat a little faster as I had hoped the owners had left the boat already. Nothing like being thrown in the deep end. The owner was into his technology so everything on the boat was over complicated and so took some time to get the hang of everything. I just skimmed through with the partridge which received no comment from the owner,I am then informed by the bubbly but very tired stewardess that this is taken as a very good sign.

I had researched the local shops and so was prepared for my next adventure off to the supermarket. We had lots of plants on the boat that needed to be disposed of before arrive in NZ otherwise they would be incinerated. So off I head with 3 large potted Orchids under my arms determined to give them away, maybe to make my ego feel good but also as I hate to waste anything. I give one to a beautiful smiling girl and her mother but again my lack of Indonesian skills means it takes a little while of handing it back and forth because they do not quite understand. Then with one last flower left I manage to find a very helpful gentleman to help me get to the supermarket. So off we speed on his moped up the road and I think he was very happy to have this red-head on the back of his bike slowing down a little to say hello to his friends on the way. I don’t mind this and even play up by waving at everyone like I am famous in some strange way. The orchid placed between his feet and me holding on tightly we whizz to the super market up a three lained motorway, I always feel a little vulnerable when surrounded by cars and trucks on a mopped but I trust he has done this before, I thank him repeatedly in my limited Indonesian. I am digging in my pockets as I purposely put some cash in their for a taxi, silly me thinking a taxi would be found. I pull it out and hand it over to my helpful new friend, his face is one of horror, he did not want any money oh I am not sure what to do everyone normally wants money. Well how refreshing so I give him a kiss on the check and then hand him the Beautiful Orchid. A huge smile spreads across his face I think he was blushing but one can never be too sure so I thank him again and bounce off in to the supermarket.

I am at this very moment going through the motions of looking for work within the yachting industry.  It is a painful process for me any way, as it never seems to run smoothly or go as quickly as I would like or anticipate making me get right to the edge of my seat and finances.  With people trying to assess you from a flat piece of paper, how can you look at that CV and see me? How can a 3 dimensional person be flattened, squished and yet still be represented.  I do not get it, having to try to get a whole personality on 2 pages.  I have been taking on board the advice that is given tweaking this changing that as I want this process to be as easy as possible.  When I arrived in Antigua with such high hopes and a real need to get working and learning I was excited but knew I had been out of the industry for a short time so was going to have to prove myself again so to get the references I needed.

This is an industry of ‘ist’s sexists ageist racist and all of the ist’s that are in the english language.  An industry that does not have to adhere to the conventional rules of normal society shall we say and so they can pick and choose and decided what and who they want on board their vessel.  This comes from owners and a few captains, who wants an unattractive crew when you could be surrounded by youthful beauty.  Some captains do just want crew who get on with their jobs and are ok to hang out with.  You live in each others pockets so it is essential that you get on so always picking the right personalities is very important.  When a crew works well it is a great environment and everyone helps each other, on the other hand if it is bad than it can be hell on earth.

Antigua is a beautiful Caribbean island and I was living in a slight dream world within the crew house.  I have spent time in other ports and crew houses so have had this nice sense of being looked after before but not quite as nicely as this.  This was shared accommodation but we had our little pockets of space as our beds where carefully placed around the two main houses.  She had three other smaller self-contained apartments for the real guests for the ones that had a little more cash and wanted some luxury.  Sometime the two worlds collided badly and she was trying to entertain people whose expectations where high against the rabble of 25 of us kids, partying and making a racket in the main house.  Not an easy juggling act to say the least.  We had a big dog who we all collectively spent time with “Rum dog” was his name of course.  The beach was a short walk from the crew house and in the afternoons we would all go and soak up some sun and take rum dog swimming he was a salty old sea dog of course.

As always in this industry I meet young boys which is always fun and  then amazing strong independent women.  This time was no exception with a Kiwi some Ozzies and a few sailor ladies who were inspiring.  We all bonded quickly and started to learn about each others skills, I was especially interested in the girls who worked out on deck as I Always wanted to be out side but seemed to keep getting sucked back into the galley.  Crazy when I say it now because I am an outdoor girl tough and strong always have been so I want to be out there but am good at cooking so have made my way into the galley.  We are all dock walking most mornings talking to crew and trying to network, dock walking to those that have never done it can be soul destroying.  It reminds me of  door to door selling you need to be confident and approach crew on board the yachts whilst they are working.  Most crew are kind and will inform you that they are fully crewed already sending you away with a little smile and some encouraging words.  Some crew on the other hand can be rude and a little cruel this is when little pieces of your confidence and maybe even self respect slowly starts to get chipped away.  Like being pixellated and little pieces are flying off into space.

I am sure there are people out there whose skin is so thick that they do not feel any of this and they bowl along and get work.  It amazes me to see these over-confident people get work just through their arrogance really and some good marketing tools.  The really organised people have business cards and they hand them out to perspective captains and crew members.  Marketing is a powerful tool as we know and people do believe/fall for it.  If you can make yourself look good with cards and websites than you will probably get the job.   This industry is what it is because of the amount of people willing to work within it, so they can choose to be picky.  I think that there are a lot of people who just need to be given a chance and they will flourish and be a lot less annoying to live with than the arrogant ones.

I have never really begun this blog due to being a big chicken, scared to bare it all scared to let my feelings out to be read by whoever wants to.  This I can now see and realise, that I can not live in fear not in any aspect of my life.  I push myself in many ways, mainly it has been physically but now I am having to push mentally to break down the walls that my fears create for me.  I find it easier to cope with physical fear than this mental block I keep giving myself.  Well anyway I am going to put some stuff out there for all to read.  Since I last wrote on this I was heading to the Caribbean my mind fixed on getting my yachting career back on track.  I caught a flight over as I had literally missed the boat  to cross the atlantic too late.  I arrived in sunny Antigua and started to have a Caribbean adventure.  I was booked into the infamous Pineapple house over looking 2 of the main marinas.  I had one of the best flights I have ever been on with Virgin, oh i was well looked after and arrived shiny and new.  Pineapple house was busy when I arrived into this beautiful space of well looked after gardens, white verandas and beds placed around the large decking area, each having a very romantic looking mosquito net about them.  The beds were covered with bright flowery patterns each different yet matching, the few walls were adorned with shells and mirrors some one had an eye for interior.  All along the left side was the white veranda open to the sight of the Marinas and the beautiful blue ocean in a large lagoon.  On the far side big rolling hills covered in lush green plants.  It was stunning and lively a great combination.  I am greeted by a woman with a warm and friendly smile, always a nice thing to see when you are a little nervous as to whether you have made the right decision of leaving all that is safe and cheap in the parental home.  Well too bloody late by that point.  Her name was Libby and this was her place.  She had the pleasure of growing up in Antigua, coming from a sailing family who arrived there in the 1960’s.  The crew house was busy, I am so glad I had booked my bed  normally I wing it and then stress out when I get there, but not this time. Some people were sprawled out on the sofas that run along the veranda scattered with brightly printed cushions, others at tables with laptop’s I presume frantically looking for work.  I got handed a rum punch by Libby who was making me feel so welcome, she has an amazing warmth to her.  Soon I did too thanks to the rum, always makes you nice and warm.  All the other people staying at the crew house were friendly and happy the atmosphere was exciting as it was all just about to kick off, the season that is.  I had a feeling I had picked the right place.

So I am all prepped to go off sailing but unfortunately I have not found a boat yet.  It is always the big things that seem to get in my way.  Ha ha so as ever I may have been a little hasty in leaving employment.  But  lets not worry as I am all warm in my parents house as I endeavour to harass agencies around the world.  I will get a crossing and as long as I believe it then it will happen.  I am sure I read that some where so now I will make it true.  So with all this time on my hands I am going to write all the stories I have been meaning to get round to.  I am just finishing off a story about me and my niece and nephew it is a good one a lovely story about team work oh and me taking them on one hell of a hike.  As long as you don’t panic then neither will they.  I do hope my Brother and sister in law do not find out.  I am sorting my life so that it fits in a suitcase again and a wakeboard bag so having to be ruthless with what to take with me.  I do believe that this waiting time is always good for me as I rest and write and spend time with every one before I leave.  

I am craving to get back into a warm sea the weather here is not inspiring me.  I actually have not left the house for two days just enjoying the space and all the food on offer.  Beware I could have to be rolled out of here if I do not get a job soon.  My parents are on holiday so have been lording it up in there manor for a week nice, but always good to have people to talk to other wise you can start to have conversations with yourself.  Ha ha it’s ok I will re introduce myself into society tomorrow with exercise, boat cleaning and some serious socialising to keep me busy.  Everyone cross those fingers for me for a crossing soon.  I will keep you posted.

I am aiming for this blog to be full of travel and adventure as I sail around parts of the world aiming to make a living.  It is for this reason that I am not entirely sure of the direction of this blog.  One thing I can assure you is that I will endeavour to entertain you with stories.